Self-Motivation

DUIT NAO... or you SUCK...

An Acciden-troll by Kaiser Permanente Staff…

Okay. So. Okay. So. Convo with health specialist for Kaiser. They needed updated information, since I hadn’t seen a doctor in a LOONG time. Like 5 years or so. So they asked me for my address, and this is how it went down.

Me: …Well it’s 1337 S. Herp St., Derpville.

Kaiser Lady: Okay, then-

Me: Wait wait, but it’s not like… THAT address, it’s kinda’ weird. It’s some sort of duplex… or triplex, and there’s two different structures. I’m the second part of the first structure.

Kaiser: Alright, then, so would you be 526/2?

Me: No, that’s the people behind me in the other structure. Sometimes I see it on our mail as “Blah Blah REAR Blah Blah…”

Kaiser: Oh okay, then. So I’ll just put it in the rear.

Me:…

Kaiser:…Pppffff

Me:* LAWLAWLAWLAWL*

Kaiser Troll: HAHAHAHAHAHA!

We laugh for like a minute or so… it was great. And the best part? I get to see a doctor!

What I Saw on the Way to Class

Okay, so I have the weirdest sense of perception. I just… selectively see and change things in my head without really thinking about it, and then I believe what my mind concocts from the reality. It’s a turbl thing. So… After my COMM40 class, I passed by the science building, I saw this:

Yup. I saw “Ignorant Phycus”. This girl I figured was studying… like… I don’t know Philosophy?! Where you study about completely unobservant flowering plants?! OI DUNNO But I looked again, it turned out it was “Integrated Physics”. That makes more sense.

Taiwan 1.5: Attention can be fun…

So pasically… I am really tired. And I know, I said “pasically”. Last night we went to bed at about 11:30p. Got up around 5:30 to have devotions, and get ready for breakfast, which was good! This is going ot be a short update, btw, and I’m not going to fix typs… So yeah.

So last night, we practiced a routine that was developed by someone from the LA church team to the song “I Will Follow” by Chris Tomlin. It was pretty fun, I had a good time! So we performed this morning in front of the new students. I was kinda’ nervous. I mostly thought about how most of these Taiwanians… Tawi… Taiwanese… might not have ever seen a black person in person! And to see one performing a dance and assisting in them LEARNING the dance… whoooo… So yeah. It wasn’t too bad, I just kept my head down, and refrained from making eye contact, haha, I just didn’t want to feel uncomfortable.

We broke up into our groups, and our group was really quiet. Mostly girls. One girl, Yaju, didn’t have an English name. And this being an English Summer camp, we helped her get one! I suggested a few names, and we settled on “Julie”, just because it has the “Ju” in her name. But yeah. So we had to think of a team name. It was KIIIINDA’ like pullin’ teeth, haha! We were all so shy! I think we spent 45 minutes trying to get them to say things that they liked so we could just move on from there and think of something. Our group only has 5 people in it… so yeah. We tried favorite animals… (Cat, cat, N/A, cat, pig). Got us nowhere. But as we were thinking of these things, we made these necklace-y things that were multicolored. So since we were team 6, I thought “Rainbow 6″ was cool. And I thought it was freakin’ leet because that’s the name of a game based on solid teamwork. And guns. But they didn’t care, we went with… “ALL HIGH” because… Most of them are in high school. So… we’re “all high”…

We also had to do a skit. Pulling some more teeth, but much less painful. We almost ended up doing a chicken dance… GLAD that didn’t happen. I’ll share vid later… I’ll link it’n'stuff.

Sometime throughout the day, I asked one of the musicians to play his guitar. I figured he’d just hand it to me, and I’d sit in the corner to myself and play. But… no. He handed it to me, and just… stood there. And waited for me… to play… a song for him. So I did? Because I don’t speak enough Taiwanisian… Taiwan…ese… to tell him my intentions. I look up from the neck of the guitar after playing “Let Her Go”, and… there’s a crowd. And applause. It startled me, and I backed up into a wall. They kept asking for more, like “encore, encore!” And I’m like “I don’t… knooooow anythiiiiiiiiinnnng aaaaaaah” and they’re like “It’s okay just play!!!!” And I’m like “NNNNgggghaaaaaaa, ARTHUR’S REALLY GOOD!”. Arthur was just standing there, and I needed… someone with REAL guitar skills to shift attention to. So… he agreeed to play “Our God”, but he can’t play it in the key I sing it i, so he went to get his capo… and never… came.. .back… So. It was like 45 mintues of me playing random things one MIIIIGHT call songs… And attention. Just lots of questions… I RAN OUT. of Buisiness cards. It was fun! I felt… kinda’ like a celebrity. But I didn’t let it get ot my head, it was just fun for the moment…

So.. by the end of the night… I’m… juuuuuuuuuust so tired. I’m SOOO. SOOOO TIRED. But I feel so accomplished. Lots that I couldn’t say  just because I’m so exhausted, but yeah. That’s the gist people. ‘Kay bye.

Taiwan 1: Oh Snap, I’m Not in America…

So, the flight was long… it was like 12 hours or so. It wasn’t too uncomfortable, though, Johnathan was a few rows ahead. There were a ton of movies to watch for free, so that’s how I occupied most of my time. I watched Battle: LA in English, and then again in Japanese to help brush up on my language skills. Then, I tried to sleep. TRIED. It was kind of… impossible. The turbulence made it really hard to stay asleep for more than a minute at a time, so I ended up getting about an hour if you include all the broken pieces

So I watched another movie! It was called… SP… some…thing. It was Japanese, and I can’t remember the name, but it was about how the Diet was corrupt, and they were trying to expose them. “They” were the SP agents, pretty much top-line security for government officials. I didn’t watch it again in English, though, I tried to play some games to give my eyes some OTHER pretty colors to look at for a while.

The coolest game in the “console” was a game called “Galactor” or something. I can NOT remember the real name, but it was shown to be some cool, crazy 3D space adventure game. So I gave it a try. Better than bottom-feeder puzzle games. Or is it? I opened it up, and I was disappointed to find that it was a shoddy and lazy rendition of Space Invaders. I think I got to level two. Didn’t die, I just quit.

I ended up watching a movie called “Win Win” in English, and then started watching it again in Japanese and got about half way when we landed. FINALLY. I missed earth so much… We got back, and got right on the bus, and drove for about 5 hours into Tainan. I was warned, but I was still unprepared. It is SO. HUMID here. But it wasn’t too bad. I got used to it.

I know it sounds like I’m complaining a lot, and it’s because I am. But don’t worry, I’ve actually been having a good time here! When we finally cat to Tainan, we got a city tour, and got to see all kinds of interesting and historical sites! We also had some super awesome food. This place… is FULL of awesome food, I can’t BELIEVE how good the food can be, like EVERYWHERE. Even the tea they serve is delish.

Day two has been a blast. We finally went to bed after Joy told a bunch of weird scary stories, and we had some devotions this morning. We went over the first 20 verses of Philippians. The verse that stuck to me was verse 6, saying that God’s work that he started in you will be brought to completion on the day of Jesus Christ. To me, it meant that I’ll constantly be a work in progress, so I don’t have to worry about BEING perfect, just work at it.

The young’uns (Me, Arthur, Johnathan, Joy, Kelly) walked around Tainan around FEU (Far Eastern University) where we’re staying, and found some interesting shops. Johnathan is from Taiwan, so he was familiar with the lifestyle, and is helping a lot with my Mandarin language development. He pointed out a lot of signs, even has me practice writing and saying some phrases. I try to get Kelly to practice Japanese with me, but… yeah. We DO talk in Japanese a lot, though, and that in itself serves as a great exercise! We find that we spend most of our time in the 7-11, collecting Doraemon Stickers to fill in our chart, so that we can get a free Doraemon toy! Silly… but whatever… In 7-11 I found a toothpaste brand called “黑人”, or “Heiren”, or (HAY-run). Or… Black Guy. Yes. Black Guy toothpaste. The logo? It’s a picture of a black guy with a top hat and bow-tie. I… let it go…

We are going to be versed on what/how exactly we are going to be teaching English in an English camp tonight at 8. I’m a little nervous, but I’m sure I’ll be alright. Update again soon!

Who? Oh yeah, THAT chick!

So. This is the point where I look to my left, and I look to my right, and remember who I got around me, what I got around me, and where I used to be. I must say… I’m pretty dang happy.

I think about a year ago, I was a depressed, stressed, broken-hearted mess (that rhymed!). Freshly torn from a lot of people I knew and loved, I had a lot of trouble holding myself together.

I don’t think there was a lower time in my life, by a long shot! But I found a way out, somehow. While stumbling around in my emotions, I met Pastor Jason, otherwise known as The Rambling Shepherd. He, also having had his share of heartbreak woes in the past, coached me out of my misery, not only with talk and fellowship with new people, but through the ministry of music.

I had been writing some songs to help me get over this hump of depression and self-loathing, and it helped. I had written my first song with lyrics, “Let Her Go” because of the mess.

If you listen to the lyrics, it is sad, and it is longing. Angsty, even. I had put so much heart into the song, I just wanted to get my emotions and thoughts out. I’d written songs on piano to help get over sorrow before, but never on guitar, or with lyrics. This was my gateway into songwriting. I played it over and over, while crashing at my friend David’s place. By the end of the semester, most of the people in the apartment knew the melody and some of the lyrics, haha. There are some others from that time that are still unrecorded. Like THIS song. Lol, I look so ridiculous with my emo hair… And I don’t do so well in front of a camera, so… yeah, just keep that in mind:

David, coincidentally had just recently gone through some heartbreak woes, too. And as God would have it, the name of the girl he had been done in by shared the same name as mine. We had even gone through similar situations, feeling a lot of the same emotions! We had a lot to talk about, as you could imagine. Dave was the roommate of two of my friends, Sean (a stellar photographer), and Marcus, who had invited me to stay at their place for the remainder of the semester (After the big explosion I had with my ex, I had no place to stay while going to school in SJ…). Dave was one of the main components to my healing, he talked me out of my sorrow within 10 minutes! Not to say that I was completely healed, but I had made a great leap in progress. He had reminded me of what God had done in my life, and that it wasn’t the end of the line. Little did I know, he would be a future bandmate.

Then, Arthur made his appearance in my life. We skated a lot… I mean A LOT. He also had been troubled with some previous romance. We talked a lot, and supported each other. Always skating and playin’ guitar, we were always around each other. We also talked a lot about God. Later, he would invite me to Pastor Jason’s place for dinner, as he was invited, and felt more comfortable bringing someone he knew with him. That’s when I first met the Jason. The first thing I recall when I first went to his place was that there were guitars… EVERYWHERE. I knew I was meeting someone interesting…

As I grew to know Jason, and Arthur and I were being coached while reading “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” by Joshuah Harris (great book by the way), I came to understand his roots in music, and how he composed, just like I did! He had a song that got popular for a while called “Valentine’s Day” on mp3.com, when it was all indie uploads. He made some money off of it! He inspired me to keep writing. I was soon inspired to write “The Sea and Jacarandas”

“The Sea and Jacarandas”

Verse:
I’m tired of seeing you here
Why don’t you disappear, this is my world
I can’t stand
That you can just walk around like you own the place

Oh leaving so soon? Why don’t you stay a while?
We can talk about the sea and jacarandas
I can hold you for the first time again
Or maybe then again you should leave

Chorus:
I think you should go!
I think you should go!

Verse:
Why does your shadow leave tracks in my dreams?
It’s impossible it seems to forget you
So I try to distract myself with things
Don’t think for a second you’ll be staying here

‘Cause I have a heart that is guided
I’m all done picking up the pieces
No more
Talk about the jacaranda tree or the sea

Chorus:
The flowers mean nothing to me!
‘Cause I cast them all to the sea!

This song was a little less longing, though still angsty. I had grabbed the situation by the horns, and begun to fight it, rather than gore myself with them, my previous attitude, haha. Then, in the mood for composing, I rapid-fire shot out this one:

Verse:
There is a spirit ahead of me.
And he says, “If you die I win
I can give you the revenge you seek
If only you’d just give in

“I told him that I may be broken
But my weakness I forsake
Don’t take aim at my naivity
This is one soul you can’t take

Chorus:
I lock and I load!
I’m planting my feet!
You can’t kick me down!
I’m standing my ground!
My heart is on fire!
You can’t blow it out!
You can’t kick me down!
I’m standing my ground!
(x2)

Verse:
But he still tried to reason with me
“Look at her. Remember the passion you had
You will never be loved like that again”
and I said, “I already am”

(Chorus)

As you can tell, I wasn’t the best musician/vocalist, but the point was to get my emotions out, and do something other than just sit and take my depression like a daily pill. It was helping a lot. This song was much more empowering, and I began to build confidence around this time.

Also, around this time, Jason had proposed to Arthur and I, the idea of a band, and the revolution of worship in our church. At the time, he felt that it could be better, and he felt a burden to bring a new spirit of worship to the congregation. How convenient that God was guiding people Arthur and I, and later, (Johnathan Hsu on keys) to Jason and the church! For some reason, Jason just attracted musically talented people, before even talking to them!

So, for the first time ever, I was on the worship team. I couldn’t believe it. I never thought I’d be on one. Never felt “good” enough, or that I could keep the nerve. But after that first worship session I was playing organ on keys, we really brought the Spirit down on the house. It was palpable. People were talking about it for a while! Arthur was on lead elec. guitar, and he did his thing, too. I was excited. I had never been a part of something so important and big before! A good start. This built my confidence even further, and distanced me even more from my woes of my previous romance and former friends.

With the positive influence coming in, I wrote another song. Much more happy and uppity, and a lot less rawk, haha.

“I Believe”

I believe in love
And the power that it holds
I believe in Heartbreak
And how it leaves you so coldI don’t believe in worry
‘Cause that’s a lack of faith
I don’t believe in revenge
‘Cause it just brings the hateI can’t believe you’re sorry
‘Cause I don’t believe your eyes
But I do believe you’re happy
That isn’t a surpriseI don’t believe what they say
They’re only saying what they hear
I do believe in heroes
Why do they disappearChorus:
You don’t have to agree with me
It’s just what I believeI believe in Mama
She never lets me down
I believe in papa
The smartest man in town
(Don’tcha’ know)

I believe in my sister

My biggest supporter and my friend

I believe if you’ve got family
Your joy will never end(Chorus)You gotta’ fight for what you stand for
Or else what else are we here for?Don’t keep it in the dark
Show everyone who you are
It really isn’t hard
Just say it out loudThat you believe in love
And the power that it holds
Watch out for that heartbreak
‘Cause it will leave you out coldAnd don’t you worry
‘Cause that’s a lack of faith
Don’t partake in revenge
‘Cause it just brings the hate

(Chorus)

It was a lot of fun to record. As you could tell, I was doin’ good. Things were looking up. Still no recording/music skills, but lots of heart in the right direction. Afterward, I had been hired on Fiverr.com to write some songs, just for fun. The first was Cat Food, based off of a grocery list a client thought was pretty funny. It’s so cheesy, but it was fun, haha!

 

This is… the ONLY song on soundcloud… that has downloads, haha! 

And an author contacted me to write a song about a person with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), who’d been in Iraq. His book was about the consequences of war. (masscasualties.com). But I realized that I was going to through somewhat of a form of PTSD myself! I had come a long way, but still hadn’t completely healed. I thought this was a perfect opportunity to take an abstract angle at my own situation.

This song… was SO much fun to sing.

Then, Jason got me and Arthur together again, and really got the idea of the band in our heads. We needed a drummer. So I knew just who to call! David Wickman, the same guy who helped me before, is a great drummer. I jammed with him some time ago before this point, and knew he had the chops. Josh Supelana served as the bassist, and Johnathan Hsu eventually came in on keys. Together, we formed Songs of the Redeemed! We practiced for a long time, and had our first performance, which happened to be a concert!

Me!

Josh!

Josh again!

Johnathan!

Jason!

Me again! :D

Arthur!

It was great fun, man. We’re not the best musicians in the world, but we all complement each other. That’s what matters. We’re still getting better, though! This was the high point. My dad even came to see me, and some friends from Tracy! I realized at that point, I had come a long way. By this point, it had been over a year. Still healing, but much stronger than I was before. The power of music ministry is amazing. God worked it all out so that we could all come together and make things happen. I leave you with this little treat I had done a little while ago, just because I freakin’ LOVE Billy Joel!

The Western States Police and Fire Games 2011

So, I went on a road trip with my dear old pa down to SoCal for two things: To watch my dad break a record, and to visit my sister. Yawp, it was a long, freakin ride, but I got some cool shots. I pretty much only attended two or three events, because I pretty much had to run on my dad’s schedule, but it’s all good, haha. Here are the top, like 10 photos. The rest will be on my flickr account!

And yeah, the photos with watermarks are for sale, so I marked’em… so that you can’t steal them, haha. ANYWAY enjoy. Flickr photos here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/jeijistuff

This is my dad, breaking the record! I believe it was 363 lb or something for a benchpress in his weight class, but here, he's pushin' 375!

Minivan Men

Soooo. RENO. That’s where we went. Goal: Snowboard! Result: Not that… at all. But it was still great! Me, Phil, Pastor Jason, and Royce went to Reno in order to ditch the hustle bustle and show some muscle. Or maybe just Phil.

Phil got this one of me when I wasn't ready...

This is Phil. He's buff.

And sneezed.

This is Pastor Jason. Knows a ton of stuff about everything. He's been an engineer, wedding photographer, and father pretty much covers all the other skills you need in life.

That dude in the hat? That's Royce. He's like a super tennis player. Played professionally for like five years!

We went to the slopes, but we got there REAAAALLLY late, and it wasn’t my fault… (I overslept, Phil hadda’ poo…) So we just decided to mess around in the snow and whatever. It was actually really fun!

 

I love this shot, just looks to magical! And Phil seems to be captivated by the wonders of snow, haha!

Royce and Phil wanted to “jump” in the snow. Here’s how it ended up looking… (more like a tumble’n'splat)

Reno was crazy. There were motels like… freakin’ every where.

I took this shot because it looked kinda’ like a fleur de lis, one of my favorite shapes! Plus it looks crazy. You don’t see them often, haha.

So we came across this large pond frozen over. It was pretty cool! So what do a buncha’ guys in a minvan do? They pull over and throw rocks at it. REALLY BIG rocks. We had thrown so many rocks, we figured it was strong enough to support us, so Phil went out and tested the “waters” first.

Jason threw that one. Left his mark, haha. It was still standing when we left.

This is one of my favorite shots ever. So much contrast, and it just looks cool! Phil picked up this rock, and walked onto the ice. But it was so heavy…

The ice cracked! And he dropped the rock into the ice, haha!

But seriously! Look at how thick the ice was!

Real men don’t drink water…

They eat it.

Good times… Haha.

OH SNAP IT’S BEEN FUH’EVA’!

OH SNAP HEY, GUYS! I am TOTALLY makin’ a new post, before my URL times out’n'stuff. That’s lame. SO YEAH, few thangs have changed since then… LIKE MY HAIR! But it’s messy right now, so I’m not sharin’ pics (aaaawwwww)…

SO ANYWAY: I didn’t really have a subject or a gameplan, so… I’m just wangin’ it. Or wingin’ it, that sounds weird. Here’s how my class schedule goes

I'm happy, and you should be happy for me. Why? BECUASE I GOT INTO GRAPHIC DESIGN 105!

DSGD 105 is the gateway to both heaven AND hell. It’s the class you take before you get into the BFA Graphic Design program at SJSU, but you have to be ACCEPTED into that class. Either way, it’s like a right of passage.

Heaven, because: If you get through the entire program with high grades, you’re (almost) guaranteed a solid and respectable job in Graphic Design. And if you don’t get that at the end, you get some props. Like a high five. I volunteered to do that next year.

Hell, because: YOU WORK WORK WORK WORK WORK WORK WORK WORK WORK WORK WORK WORK WORK, AND IF YOU GET A CHANCE…breeeaaaaaathe….You cool? You aight? GO BACK TO WORKWORKWORKWORKWIFOAWJFAWIEJF

But it’s cool, becuase I LOVE design work. Here’s some recent work:

 

Not in any particular order. Anyway other cool stuff about new stuff later, I’m… out of things I feel like sayin’…

And so, I’ve moved on! Jozzuv Lol in sight!

So my domain: purchased! I now own Jeiji Design!! Too bad “Jeiji.com” has already been taken… Some Chinese site, I guess you could check it out if you are interested. But I’ve decided to keep updating this blog with my personal experiences, not necessarily related to design. More related to other things I care about. Like skating, or movies, or videogames. Y’know. Things that won’t further my success in the world. So anyways, go check out the new site, Jeiji Design!! Digg, tweet, Post, pass it on, and I’ll be your best friend. Forever. Alsooooo…. JOZZUV LOL’S PRINTING IS ON IT’S WAY! As soon as my check is deposited, I’ll be planning the printing process for the orange glory that is the laughing tiger. LOOK OUT FOR IT! I’d probably post it to my portfolio when it’s printed, so yeah. GOOD THINGS! GOOOOOD THINGS!

Jozzuv Lol! (Lol Tiger)